True Life: My Boyfriend May Possibly be a Vampire
by krustykrabpizza
Summary: Dear, Lord. Just okay.  SUPERNATURAL THINGS ENSUE
1. Chapter 1

**Nonsense. Pure nonsense. I don't even know why I wrote this.**

**Just, okay. Whatever. Read on. But I warn you...  
**

About two things I was absolutely positive.

First, Blaine was a vampire.

And second, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

* * *

Wes dismissed everyone from glee club with his impressive rendition of 'So long, farewell'. His voice was amazing, but Kurt wished he would let him have some say in the song selection, as Wes's taste was just a bit cliché. Kurt sighed and pulled his bag onto his shoulder. When picking out a tote, Kurt made sure it would go with the blue and red blazer, and with some time and effort, Kurt found the perfect accessory.

"Kurt." Blaine smiled as he said the name.

"H-hey, Blaine." Kurt replied, with an equally wide smile, and a stutter to go along. Kurt was always taken aback when he came face to face with Blaine's incredibly good looks.

"Do you maybe want to hang out later? We can study together!" Blaine asked, his voice rising on the last word. He loved the idea of them together.

"Yeah, that would be cool. Of course. I just have to get some things out of my locker."

"Perfect! I'll wait for you in the parking lot."

Blaine walked off with a 100-watt smile. Mission accomplished. He and Kurt would be studying together. As in all movies, Blaine would have some faux trouble with his calculus homework. Then he would ask Kurt to help him, in the sweetest 'long-lost-puppy' way, and would sneak a kiss as Kurt tried to help him. He would not admit to himself how pathetic it was that he took two weeks just planning how this would work. He should probably get some feeding done first, he thought. He didn't need anything out of the agenda to happen.

Kurt practically bounced over to his locker. His mind was full of only one thing. 'Blaine, Blaine, Blaine' it repeated, happier than it had been in a long time. Kurt decided he had enough time to do some primping so he headed over to the washroom after grabbing his belongings and washed his face. The thing about private schools, he thought, is that they always have very clean bathrooms. He gathered his things and headed out to the parking lot. He hoped he hadn't been too long.

It turns out, Kurt hadn't been long enough. What he saw was enough to earn someone a free pass to the big plush rooms kept in the back corner of a hospital. There was Blaine, blood dripping from his mouth, holding David in his arms, looking like a dear in headlights.

Kurt didn't know what to say, if there was anything to say at all. Was there a 'How to Deal with Crushes who are Vampires for Dummies'? The answer to that question was clear. Absolutely not. Because this was impossible. Absolutely impossible. Yet, even as Kurt blinked furiously, the image would not go away. Neither Blaine, Kurt, or David, who was now looking at Kurt as well, moved an inch. Blaine was the first to twitch. He let go of David and wiped his mouth.

"Kurt, hey!" Blaine said as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. He stepped towards Kurt who skidded backwards, terrified.


	2. Chapter 2

**I will be ending the fic with this chapter. I really had no idea where this was going and the writing seemed to be increasingly bad. I just decided to write this chapter because I know some of you wanted more. Keep in mind, this chapter will disappoint and you all will be super mad at me for the ending. LIKE SUPER MAD.**

**Okay well whatever, I had fun writing it and being a troll. ;D**

"Th-the-th" was all Kurt managed to get out. He couldn't bring his voice to produce any new syllables.

Blaine seemed oblivious to this, as he just kept coming closer towards Kurt. "You ready to go?"

Kurt couldn't believe that Blaine had just asked that. In fact, Kurt couldn't believe absolutely _anything_ at this point. The image of the blood, David, Blaine, and the weird look in Blaine's eye just a second ago were still tattooed in Kurt's mind.

Kurt tried his best to muster up any sound that would come out of his now dry mouth. He succeeded but his choice of words were less than elegant.

"THE HELL WAS THAT!" Kurt practically screamed at Blaine, who was now stopped in his tracks, watching Kurt have this meltdown.

"I was just feeding?" Was Blaine's response.

"Feeding on DAVID! A PERSON!"

"Yeah, so?"

"YEAH SO? YEAH SO MY ASS, BLAINE ANDERSON. YOU'RE A VAMPIRE."

"Wait, wait. You don't have vampires at your school?"

Kurt was absolutely incredulous. So Blaine was a vampire then. A flesh tearing, blood sucking, vampire. Kurt could add 'incredibly sexy' to that list, but he quickly shoved that out of his mind, as he wanted no connection with the beast in front of him.

"No we don't have _vampires_" he twitched at the word. "at our school! I have never even seen a real vampire until now. I didn't even think they were real!"

Kurt was hyperventilating. This was too much. He thought he was in love with Blaine. Now, he couldn't believe he had had such feelings. Those feelings had now been turned into ones of pure disgust.

Blaine took yet another step closer to Kurt, ignoring Kurt's hands that flew up in protest.

"Kurt. I'm sorry. I thought everybody had vampires at their school. I didn't mean to freak you out. Please don't be afraid. I really like you, Kurt."

And then Ashton Kutcher came out and was all like LOL PUNKD and Kurt was like AWDANG and Blaine and Kurt went to get ice cream and then they got married the end~


End file.
